


the rise before the fall

by kyoloren



Series: Drift Bond [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Canonical Age Difference, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Mainpulation (Snoke vs Ben), Drift Compatibility, Drift Side Effects, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fantasy Violence, Giant Robots, Giant monsters, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25973209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoloren/pseuds/kyoloren
Summary: Two years after Rey fails the Ranger program because of herbroken brain, Han Solo dies. No one is more surprised than Rey when she jokingly spars with Ben Solo, the remaining pilot for theMillennium Falcon, and it turns out that they’re Drift compatible.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Drift Bond [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885162
Comments: 72
Kudos: 132
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BinaNinaNinja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BinaNinaNinja/gifts).



> Hello there!
> 
> This was written because I realized I hadn't written a PacRim AU for Reylo yet (what was I thinking?!) and was inspired to do so. This is part of a two-fic sister series, where I'll be writing a second PacRim fic with the same base character backstory but with very different ends.
> 
> I'm dedicating this fic to [Bina](https://twitter.com/binarey_)! I hope you like it.
> 
> This will be a short fic, and I haven't gone into super detail within the PacRim world like I usually do with my AUs, but I like it anyway with a focus on the characters and trying to marry characterization from the ST with their PR counterparts.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> With a moodboard by [Debbie](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre)/@generaleia!

* * *

The pain was excruciating. It was physical, the burning circuits and cracked helmet spitting heat onto his bleeding face. And it was inside too: his head screaming, his father’s pain echoing and dancing and twisting around his own, heightening everything and blinding him. His ears were ringing so loud he couldn’t even hear the Kaiju’s roars in the frigid waters.

The Drift, the bridge, was not mind reading; it was mind melding, it was no longer two people but one collective force, the brain of a machine.

It blurred lines. Especially when emotions were high and pain was a factor.

Blinking blood out of his eyes, Ben gritted his teeth and let out a cry of effort as he pulled the Jaeger around, ignoring the sparks of the gaping hole in the ConnPod. Jaegers were getting faster, but in water, Kaiju could be faster than even the newest Mark V’s.  _ Millennium Falcon _ was a Mark III, so it was slower but the Solos made it work.

Well--they did, until today.

“C’mon, old man,” he said. They rarely spoke out loud when in the Drift but Ben could barely see, much less try to make sense of his brain as everything scrambled up inside.

Han grunted, half-hanging off his ruined motion rig. He nodded, breathing labored, and helped Ben turn the torso of  _ Falcon _ around. With almost all of Ben’s strength, they caught the Kaiju in an uppercut with the single working arm. 

Ben was nothing but fire under his skin and the overwhelming wash of pain over his whole self. It took all his control not to add vomit to the blood and neural gel mixing in his helmet. “We gotta blow the canons,” Ben said, once again speaking aloud.

Han didn’t respond and Ben’s heart leapt even harder as he felt his father’s conscious flicker. He passed out. Ben could feel as the neural bridge slipped out of alignment and broke, the weight of the whole  _ Falcon _ shifting onto him.  _ Fuckfuckfuck _ . 

LOCCENT was loud in the ruined Conn-Pod but Ben ignored his uncle’s yelling voice as he reached forward, every millisecond feeling like an hour. He pushed a series of override buttons as the Kaiju roared and the water swelled around  _ Falcon _ ’s legs.

The Jaeger’s massive arm shifted, the hand splitting open to reveal a plasma cannon. Usually it could be used for more specific shots, but at this point, Ben was desperate. The strain of holding up a whole Jaeger solo was like trying to hold up an 18-wheeler while catching snakes and doing complicated mathematics equations without a calculator. He thought his brain was going to split in half as the Kaiju attacked the remaining arm and Ben’s eyes blurred with blood and sweat and tears as he fisted his hand and twisted, igniting the unstable cannon cores.

The explosion knocked out his senses and blew the Kaiju’s head into a million little pieces. LOCCENT was a fuzzy buzz in the back of his mind. Ben blinked and the next thing he felt was the Jaeger falling. 

Right arm hanging by wires and shards of metal, the left with nothing remaining from the elbow joint down thanks to the explosion. 

_ Falcon _ sank to its knees as Ben’s gave out, the coolant and locking systems drained as alarms flashed and blared and water started to sink into the Conn-Pod.

Ben slipped into darkness just as he heard the  _ thwumthwumthwum _ of the Jumphawk’s propellors, coming to save them.

oOo

Ben sucked in a sharp breath and shook his head, returning to the present. Like the rest of the Anchorage Shatterdome, the office of the head Psych Analyst was all concrete walls and hard black furniture. He shifted on the couch with a thin cushion that was probably just one layer of centimeter-thick cotton squashed beneath the vinyl. Whatever it was, it was uncomfortable as fuck.

“Yeah, yeah, you could say that I relive the moment a lot,” Ben said, running his hand through his hair. It had grown long past regulation length in the past three months of his rehabilitation. The Marshal’s words from the ceremony for Han Solo two months earlier echoed through his mind:

“We lost a singular soul today. Han Solo was a pilot, a scoundrel at heart, and one of the first to step into a Jaeger. But he was also a friend and a husband and a father.” Marshal Organa faltered at that moment and Ben, who could barely focus from the ringing in his ears and his swollen face, felt his own chest tighten as he met his mother’s eyes. “But unfortunately, our enemy does not let us stop and grieve. We will mourn Han Solo by continuing his work. Not one of our Rangers can be spared. Everyone must stay vigilant. We’re on the front lines and billions of lives depend on us. Remember that.”

So yeah, all Ben wanted to do was drink himself to a stupor and not talk to anyone for months, but he had to  _ keep going _ . He was a pilot, he needed to get back to work. Even if the thought of stepping into another Pons and sharing a neural bridge with another person made his stomach twist and turn over. 

“It’s expected to relive our failures,” the therapist said. He was tall and pale and he was more scientist than shrink.  **Andrew Snoke** was written on a simple black plaque on the door leading into his office.

Ben made his hand into a fist, dragging his knuckles over his thigh. “Have you ever Drifted with anyone before?” he asked, teeth clenched. 

Snoke looked shocked by being asked a question instead of the other way around. “No, I have not.”

Ben took in a deep breath and let it out before speaking. “Then you don’t know what it’s like to feel someone else’s pain like it’s your own. Or how it feels like to pilot a Jaeger. It’s more than just a machine and a co-pilot.”

“And Han Solo was your father. That brings even more emotions into it.”

“It does! Of course it fucking does.” Ben glared across the space. “I live in this Shatterdome. It’s my home. And it hurts me every fucking time someone goes out there and doesn’t come back.”

“But this is different. You told me before that if you’d been faster, you could have stopped Knifehead from taking a chunk out of the Conn-Pod.”

“Yes.” Ben deflated and wanted to just fold into himself. “But dwelling on that won’t bring my father back.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Everyone has memories of my dad. He--was a memorable guy. But only I have him up here.” He pointed a finger at his temple. “Forever. He’s in there. Snippets of his feelings and memories are gonna stay with me. They call it a temporal imprint. Things shared between pilots sometimes stay.”

“And is that a good thing or a bad thing, do you think?” Snoke sat forward.

Ben swallowed hard, avoiding the other man’s clear blue gaze. “I don’t know.”

When he left Snoke’s office twenty minutes later, Ben didn’t feel better. He felt as if a worm had dug its way into his brain and was starting to rot. 

With a slight limp, he jogged down a massive concrete hallway in the bunker home that was the Shatterdome in Alaska. Everyone he passed was in sweaters or layered with jackets against the cold. Ben only wore one sweatshirt, always running hot, especially after the fight with Knifehead. He jogged all the way to the hall of fame corridor, where holo displays were lit up of all of the Shatterdome’s fallen heroes.

Ben could barely look at his father’s. There were some offerings laid out at the base. In a world without Kaiju, or even just on the mainland, it would have been covered with flowers and trinkets and booze. But the world had shifted after the Kaiju attacked and it had disrupted everything: the economy, the access to certain goods, the making of such goods...it trickled all the way down.

Shoving his hand in his pocket, Ben pulled out a pair of golden dice, attached together with a chain. He held it in his palm and rubbed his fingers along the familiar cubes. He could leave it, but it was one of the few things he had left of his father’s besides the memories echoing in his mind and a handful of photos.

After standing there for a few minutes, Ben sighed, releasing the tension in his shoulders and returned the dice to his pocket. He turned on his bootheel and headed back toward the hangar. He always liked the clatter and activity of all the Jaeger tech teams.


	2. Chapter One: Some Assembly Required

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where we meet Rey, there's a small time jump, and everyone is sassy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We're truly diving into the story now!
> 
> And yes, I did indeed name each chapter after a Buffy episode title. 😅 I was lazy and so many of them fit with the chapter contents so here we go.
> 
> Enjoy!

Ben let out a hiss and went down on one knee at the strike. His fingertips sunk into the mats on the floor and he huffed to get his breath back.

“Come on, Solo,” Mace Windu said, twirling his staff and then leaning against it casually. “You can do better than that.”

Ben gritted his teeth, pushing himself up and standing. His shirt was drenched, his joints on fire. But he felt good. “You ever solo-pilot?”

Mace shook his head. “Nope. Barely piloted at all. Wasn’t really my thing.” He pointed the staff at Ben. “Can’t use that as an excuse though. I got your OK from brain scans and the final results from your PT. They say you’re good to go.”

Ben nodded, grabbing his fallen staff. “I know.”

“Don’t resist it. You’re a good fighter, you have good instincts. Don’t hold yourself back.” Mace was the Anchorage Shatterdome’s Fightmaster, meaning he was the person who trained and focused on the upkeep of the active Rangers. He was a strict, but efficient trainer. 

Ben blew out a puff of air and swiped the pads of his fingers across his eyelids, flicking aside sweat. “I know. I’m trying.”

“A small amount of fear is  _ good _ , but too much of it and it’ll cripple you.” Mace swung his staff and got into a familiar stance.

Ben nodded, eyes dark with concentration as he moved, a bit stiffer than he was used to, to match Mace’s stance.

The smack of bostaffs filled the Kwoon.

“You’re a good pilot,” Mace continued between formations. “And your dad…” He paused, loosening his stance. Ben’s eyes blurred before he blinked into focus. “He was a great guy. But you’re young. You’ve got six impressive kills under your belt, Solo, and I’d hate to see it go to waste.”

Ben’s chest felt tight but he nodded, mirroring the Fightmaster’s more aggressive stance. His knuckles were bone white around the staff. “I-I want to just lay down and give up some days.”

Ben flinched, blocking a quick shot from Mace, who then swung his staff around and pulled it back like an extension of his arm. “Most days,” Ben edited. 

Mace nodded and they moved forward. It was less about fighting than about moving  _ together _ . This wasn’t martial arts to disarm and disable an opponent: Rangers learned how to move in tandem with another. That was the whole point of having a partner.

“And yet you’re here,” Mace said, beads of sweat dripping down his temples. “That’s something.”

Ben didn’t say anything, breathing deep. 

“Channeling a bit of your dad, I think. He was a stubborn motherfucker that one.”

Ben half smiled, his heart aching something fierce in his chest. He dropped to the mat, knees bent, arms hooked around them, staff dropping to the floor. He heaved in breaths and peered up at Mace, who didn’t prod him into standing up.

“I’m not half the man he was,” Ben said after a while.

Mace crouched in front of him. “You don’t have to  _ be him _ . Just make him proud.” He clapped a hand on Ben’s arm and stood fully, walking over to the wall to replace the bostaff on the rack against the wall.

“I don’t-I dunno if I can do that again,” Ben said, not moving from his spot. “To Drift with someone again.”

Mace turned to him, and there was a little twist of sadness in his usually stoic face. “You will. There ain’t enough Rangers out there to keep us alive. We can’t afford to lose any still standing.”

Ben swallowed hard, knowing the words were true. He felt better about hearing them from Mace, who had actually known Han Solo for years, rather than Snoke, who had only casually met Han since they worked in the same Shatterdome.

It wasn’t a cure-all, but it was a start.

OoO

The sounds in the hangar were always obscured. If you were on the ground floor, it was one thing, if you were 100 or 200 feet up in the air, it was another. Voices, machinery, alarms, staticky voices through the intercom system, tools whizzing and whirling, Jaeger’s shifting...it was a whole ecosystem.

Rey Johnson lowered herself down on a harness, reaching forward and pulling herself right into the gaping chest of the Jaeger missing its core. A lot of the bolts and moving parts were supersized--she worked with wrenches as long as her arm sometimes--but some were small enough to need a human hands directly on it.

Today was one of those days.

She squinted through her goggles with their spotlight on the side. The tip of her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she worked on the mechanism in front of her.

She was an untidy mess of a thing, grease smeared across her forehead, hair pulled back in messy buns, arms covered in hydraulic fluid from working on  _ Midnight Storm _ ’s arm earlier, before lunch. She kept her hands clean for eating, but otherwise she never bothered to clean up until the end of the shift.

Her bright hazel eyes worked intently on the inner workings of the Mark IV. She didn’t belong to any one Jaeger team, floating around wherever J-tech needed her. She could fix any problem put in front of her. It made her feel less like the burden she felt that she was, deep in the back of her mind.

So she lost herself in her work,  _ threw  _ herself in her work to avoid thinking about her failures in the past. A life of them, all following behind her like a shadow she couldn’t get rid of.

By the time she crawled out from  _ Midnight Storm _ ’s chest cavity, it was late enough in the day where she should finish up and head to the mess hall to grab dinner. It had been a quiet day, no Kaiju sightings, no one yelling at Rey for doing a bad job...all in all, she’d call it a win.

She hauled herself up and onto the catwalks, untangled the harness and started toward the hub. The freight elevator had a few other people in coveralls and goggles, not quite as dirty as she was. Rey stood in the corner, and listened in on the conversation because there was nothing else to do.

“Yeah, I hear they’re setting up tryouts today,” one said.

“Do they call them tryouts?”

The first one scoffed. “How should I know, I’m not a Ranger.”

Rey perked up a little bit at this. 

“Anyway, it’s  _ Ben Solo _ . Everyone knows that guy.”

A third piped in: “He and his dad are kinda legends, aren’t they? He’s been a Ranger for what, eight, nine years?”

“I heard he got really fucked up from that last fight. I don’t work on  _ Millenium Falcon _ but it’s still not fixed and it’s been five months since the Jaeger was dragged back here.”

“I’ve heard people saying that they don’t think he’ll get back into a Jaeger.”

“Why not?” Rey heard herself say the words and cursed herself for it.

The three other J-tech turned, as if startled that she was there. “Oh, um,” the first one started, “He Drifted with his dad for so long and after piloting solo...I don’t understand the whole Drift thing personally obviously, but a lot of people have said that it’s hard to Drift with new people.”

“Uh-huh,” Rey said, noncommittal. The lift stopped at the base floor and they all got out. The group headed in one direction and Rey headed toward the showers.

_ She _ didn’t know the intricacies of the Drift either. She’d never gotten that far ever. She had a  _ broken brain _ which meant that she wasn’t apt to fit in anywhere. Rey got very good at pushing all of that away and focusing on her J-tech career. She had put so much of her effort into the PPDC that she couldn’t just walk away, even after she failed her Ranger training.

Being good with her hands, she got into mechanics and found that she rather enjoyed working with the machines. She had a knack for being able to fix anything that she touched.

Except herself, of course.

Once fully showered, she let her hair fall dripping around her face and pulled on a clean black tank top tucked into signature blue cotton pants and black boots with thick soles. She looked just like anyone else roaming the halls.

Shoving her hands into her pants pockets, she walked away from the residential area, where lines of doors closed bunks off from the main concrete corridors of the bunker-like Shatterdome. She should have headed toward the mess to grab food that she’d take to the catwalks and eat alone or maybe with Rose Tico, who was one of a dozen Conn-Pod specialists and a sweet, humble woman. Not to mention, she was just about the only person Rey had ever had a conversation with while at the 'Dome.

But instead, she found herself walking toward the training facilities and toward the Kwoon, a place where she  _ should  _ have spent a lot of her time before it all went down the drain. There was a small crowd already built up there and the conversation she overheard in the lift came back to her.

The smack of staff against staff and the sounds of bodies hitting mats reached her ears. Rey slipped in close enough where she could see the man in question.

One would think that living so long in the facility would mean that you’d know everyone on a first name basis, but that wasn’t true. And most Rangers didn’t know many people beyond those who worked in LOCCENT and who were part of their J-tech crew for their specific Jaeger.

Rey hadn’t ever met Ben Solo and she had only one or two memories when she met Han Solo. He was a really nice guy and treated her kindly, but she had never met his son. She’d seen them on the screens of course, doing interviews and shooting promo footage to help fuel the funding for the PPDC and all that, but Rey didn’t care about the glamorous side of being a Jaeger Ranger.

Ben Solo was tall with a shock of long black hair. His skin was pale, probably due to being stuck in a bunker in Alaska for the past five months. And he was scarred, visible because of his black tank top. A jagged scar across his face and distinct lines of burned circuits down his neck and right shoulder and arm.

He was trying to match with another Ranger, working on a dialogue in Jaeger Bushido style. Rey could immediately tell that he wasn’t clicking with the guy he was currently working with. Ben was stiff in the hips and compensated for his right side, but he definitely knew how to move.

She was almost impressed.

The sparring partner went down hard--that didn’t often happen, but every Ranger could take it--and Mace Windu, standing across the way with his hands clasped behind his back, called the partner off. Ben straightened up, wiping his eyes and slicking his hair back from his forehead.

“Okay, I’ve seen enough,” Mace said, looking exasperated. It didn’t take a genius to see that he wasn’t happy with the results. 

Maybe the rumors and gossip were right. Maybe Ben Solo would never pilot again.

Mace turned his attention from Ben to the small crowd. There was a mixture of J-tech and K-science and other grunt workers, and a handful of Rangers too; active, standby, newbies from training. But Mace’s dark gaze hovered on Rey.

Did he remember her?

“Anyone else want to try?” Mace asked. Rey couldn’t tell if it was rhetorical or not. Ben Solo turned to face the small crowd and for some reason, Rey stepped forward.

“I’ll try,” she said.

oOo

A ripple moved through the crowd as the young woman stepped forward. Ben’s eyebrows wrinkled into a frown. He had never seen her before in his entire life and that was strange. If he didn’t know their names, he at least recognized every Ranger’s face if they passed by. 

“Who are you?” he asked, a little gruffly. He was sore and sweaty and tired and none of the prospective Rangers suited his style. He told Mace he was sure no one would be able to match with him, and so far he’d been right.

“Um...I’m Rey Johnson,” the woman introduced herself. She started unlacing her boots. “We’ve never met.”

“I know that,” he said shortly.

She shrugged and put her boots and socks to the side, stepping onto the mat. She was light on her feet, and held herself strong and tall. “I failed out of the Ranger program because I couldn’t Drift with anyone.”

Murmurs went through the crowd behind her. She didn’t seem to notice.

“I figured this may be my only time to meet you, so how can I pass up that opportunity?” She stopped in the middle and placed one hand on her hip, eying him, not shying away from his scarred face.

Ben was intrigued to say the least. A bit of the fatigue he felt dissipated.

“If you’re worried, don’t be. We won’t be compatible,” she assured him, taking a staff. A small smirk came onto her face.

He couldn’t very well say no now, not with an audience. He glanced at Mace, who had a weird amused expression on his face, but didn’t stop them.

Ben took a deep breath. “Have you done this before?”

“Yes.” She spun the staff expertly and moved to the far end of the mat. “I made it through to the mock Conn-Pod before I was kicked out of the program. I’m in J-tech now.”

Ben “hmmmm”d and got into his first stance. She moved more fluidly than he did, but that didn’t mean anything. If she hadn’t been in training for a while, she may be rusty. “Don’t worry, I won’t hit you.”

Rey sniffed and shrugged. “I can’t promise the same.”

The crowd laughed. Ben thought it was getting steadily bigger too but he ignored it. He held her gaze--which was pretty intense for someone who was doing this for shits and giggles--and he matched it, his eyes hard and dark.

He moved fast and stopped his staff an inch from her nose. He frowned a little. “One,” he said, moving his weight on his back foot.

Rey let him get settled and then came at him. He blocked her but she was fast and she spun, using the far end of the staff to tap his side. “One-one,” she said, stepping back. She looked so at ease that it was almost frustrating.

_ Dialogue, not fight _ , Ben told himself to keep himself in check. 

Their staffs met again in succession and he got another point but she swept her foot and pulled his bad leg from under him. He landed on his ass on the mat, her staff end at his throat.

“Two-two,” she said, some of her ease leaving. Tension filled her shoulders and face, but it wasn’t  _ bad _ tension, it was focus.

Ben got to his feet and the points kept staying tied. Loose hairs stuck to the sweat building on Rey’s face. They both ignored anything else, lost in the motions for far longer than an average test before Mace’s booming voice shattered their intense game of chicken to see who would go down first.

“That’s enough!”

Ben startled back and Rey dropped her staff completely. It rolled a few inches and they both turned to face the Fightmaster.

“I know better than to say this,” Mace paused to run a hand over his face, “but that was amazing to watch. Despite your claims, Johnson, I’d be tempted to say that you and Solo would be Drift compatible.”

Rey gaped and Ben shook his head, trying to make sense of what he’d just heard.

“Excuse me?” Rey said the moment that Ben said, “You can’t be serious, sir.”

Mace huffed, exasperated. “Get cleaned up and meet me at the Marshal’s office in an hour.”

“I-” Rey stood there, stunned on the mat as everyone dispersed. Once the room was clear, she turned to him where he was sitting, pulling on his boots. “I-this was supposed to be a joke.”

Ben gritted his teeth, fingers throbbing. “I hate to agree with Mace, but I think he’s right.” 

“What?”

“You’ve never Drifted with anyone before?” Ben turned and looked up at her. She shook her head, eyes wide. “It feels a lot like that. Working together, moving together.”

She crossed her arms. “That was just sparring.”

“If someone can compliment you in battle and keep up with your fighting style, that’s all you need for a strong Drift.” He got to his feet, now even taller than before.

“That doesn’t matter,” Rey said, anger descending on her features. She stomped to her boots and crouched down to pull on socks. “I  _ can’t _ Drift with anyone. They did scans. They can’t see anything wrong with me, except when I get hooked into a Pons and then it’s nothing. Like my brain is broken.”

Ben set his jaw. “Welcome to the club.”

She glanced up at him with a scowl and shoved her feet into her boots, angrily lacing them. “This was just supposed to be a joke. I could tell the other candidates didn’t fit you.”

“Could you?”

Something about him must be innately pissing her off because she scoffed and got to her feet, turning to him with a fire in her eyes. “Yes. I have eyes. I’m sorry if I gave you false hope or whatever.” She tossed her hands up. “But I’m leaving now.”

“The Marshal will still want to see us.”

“Why? I can’t Drift.”

“She’ll want to see us anyway. And she doesn’t take no for an answer.” Ben crossed his arms.

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine. I’ll just tell her to her face that Mace  _ and you _ made a mistake.” With hands clenched into fists, she walked out of the Kwoon through the open doorway, now void of spectators.

Ben stood there, looking after her. He didn’t want to admit that she felt pretty spectacular to spar with. Not if she had that attitude and not if what she said was true. He didn’t  _ want _ to Drift with anyone else until he was sure he wouldn’t bring anything with him into the Drift. He didn’t want to bring his ptsd and trauma into someone else’s head. He’d never been one to chase R.A.B.I.T.s but he’d never had such an intense memory to drag him down before.

He didn’t want this and neither did Rey Johnson.

Hopefully his mother would understand.

oOo

Leia Organa did not understand. She pinched her nose, trying to regain her composure. Mace Windu hovered in the corner out of the way after introducing the problem to the Marshal. Her graying hair was twisted in braids of mourning from her long line of family traditions. She wore a simple oversuit and a vest and comfortable, supportive shoes.

Nothing happened in the Anchorage Shatterdome that she didn’t know about--or at least pretend to know about.

“Let me get this straight,” she said after a pause. She dropped her hand and turned her attention to the young brunette standing before her, having just blurted out a long explanation about how she was just sparring with Ben for a joke and then  _ intensely _ talking about how she couldn’t Drift with anyone. “You were trained as a Ranger and can’t Drift.”

Miss Johnson looked a little hurt but she hid it quickly and nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Why did you step onto the mat with Mr. Solo?”

“For...honestly I’m not sure. I figured it would be my only chance to meet the son of Han Solo.” She dropped her eyes slowly. “He was always very nice to me. Han Solo, I mean. He had lunch with me a few times when I was sitting by myself. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to just spar and show off…”

Leia took a deep breath. Han’s loss was fresh on her mind, his wedding band cold on a chain against her skin. “I usually do not condone  _ showing off _ especially with Rangers. I get enough of that in Jaegers, I don’t like it in my facility. But if we’ve struck gold, I’m going to pursue it.”

“But--”

The Marshal held up a hand and Miss Johnson stopped. Leia turned her attention to her son. “Ben,” she said, a little less formally, “what do you have to say about this?”

Ben took a deep breath and it took him a little while to look her in the eyes. This had been a hard few months for the both of them. Leia couldn’t understand quite what Ben was going through; she had done a few runs way back in a Mark I with her twin, but it had been too much strain for her and nothing bad had happened to her in the Drift.

She couldn’t fathom the amount of pain Ben was holding within him. She was forever grateful that Han had been brought back to base alive and she was able to say goodbye before he slipped away. And Ben? She was doing everything she possibly could to help him without showing favoritism.

“I say that I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to Drift with anyone again,” Ben said honestly. Leia’s chest tightened and she leaned a hand back on her desk. “But there’s no harm in trying. You always tell us that we have to keep fighting. Rangers are important and there aren’t enough of us.”

“You’ve got that right,” Mace said from the side of the room. “And to lose someone as experienced as you, son, would be a god damn shame.”

Miss Johnson looked both pissed off and terrified and wasn’t good at hiding the expression on her face. 

“What happened in the past, when you tried to Drift with someone?” Leia asked her.

“Um...I mean they hooked me up in the Pons with someone who matched my skill in the spar, and just...it was nothing. Like there was nothing there. They couldn’t get it to connect. They tried others and the same thing.” Rey crossed her arms defensively, which broke military protocol, but then again the Pan Pacific Defense Corps was more civilian army than military. 

“See? No harm in trying right? Nothing will happen,” Ben emphasized. He was agitated and Leia wanted to wrap this up quickly.

She met Mace’s gaze and then looked back at the two young people in front of her. She squared her shoulders. “You’ll try. If it doesn’t work, we’ll know and Miss Johnson will go back to her normal work with J-tech and we’ll try to match Ben with someone else.”

Her tone was final.

Leia could tell that Miss Johnson wanted to argue, but she clenched her jaw and walked out of the room after Ben. Mace lingered, coming to stand beside her. He carefully touched her shoulder.

“Are you sure about this?”

Leia sat back against her desk. “You’re the one who brought them here. Are  _ you _ sure about this?”

Mace made a face. “I sure fucking hope so. We’re due for another attack and we have some great teams, but you’re right. We need as many Rangers as we can get.”

Leia nodded. “I know. But I don’t want to push him too hard.”

“He’ll be fine. He’s got both you and Han’s stubbornness in him. He’ll keep going.”

“We all need to keep going,” Leia said.

oOo

Rey disappeared once they left the Marshal’s office. Her hands were shaking and she hid them under her arms as she walked to the mess to squirrel away some food and eat it in her shared bunk. Her roommate was never in, as they worked opposite hours.

The Shatterdome never slept because the Kaiju could attack at any time. 

Her stupid confidence had really gone and put a foot in it this time. Not only had she stepped up in a Ranger’s role after two years, but she had actually...succeeded? Her joke fell flat. She  _ liked _ sparring with Ben Solo. It didn’t feel like a chore, but she didn’t know if it meant they were Drift compatible because she’d never  _ been _ compatible with anyone before.

She inhaled every crumb of her food and sat on her top bunk in the dark, staring into nothing, trying to block everything out.

The next day, she woke up and was under the impression that the previous evening was a dream. There was no way that she would put herself in that situation.

But when she stepped into the mess, a few people looked at her and whispered and after she got her tray of breakfast, she accidentally made eye contact with none other than Ben Solo, who was sitting with his Jaeger team.

She froze and swallowed hard before turning on her heel and walking out. She hiked herself up to a catwalk and got a few bites into her meal before she heard boots clank up the ladder and join her.

She knew who it was without needing to turn. 

Ben cleared his throat and sat down with a few feet between them. “Hey,” he said, as if they were friends.

She said nothing, face full of food.

“Look, I don’t want to do this, and I know you don’t want to either. But if what you say is true, we do one test in the Pons and then you can go back to working on your Jaeger.” He said it all in a rush, like he wanted to get it out and leave.

Rey heaved a sigh. “I wanted to become a Ranger more than anything so I could help and actually actively do  _ something _ , but there’s something inside of me that isn’t right and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

“You can’t go against the Marshal.”

“I could.”

“You could get thrown out of the PPDC.”

Rey shifted and sniffed, rubbing the side of her nose. “I wish I’d never gone to the Kwoon. I should have just gone to the mess like I was fucking planning.”

“Look, I’m-I’m sorry.”

Rey scowled and looked over at him for the first time. “It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize. I was the one who stepped up.”

“I could have said no.”

“In front of all those other Rangers?” She cocked an eyebrow. “Let’s just get this over with so I can crawl back into a Jaeger’s guts.”

He made a face at her words. “Marshal set up a test for this afternoon at 1400 hours.”

“Okay.”

“Do you know where the testing site is?” he asked as he got to his feet.

“I’ll find it,” she said stubbornly.

He didn’t hesitate, walking back the way he came and leaving her be.

oOo

Ben was nervous. His talk earlier with Rey hadn’t calmed him down, but if what she said was true, they would try and fail and move on.

There were a number of Rangers, the ones he’d tried out yesterday, who he could probably fit with. It wouldn’t be perfect, but if he really wanted to get back into the  _ Falcon _ and do his dad proud, he’d have to start somewhere.

The Marshal would not risk a Jaeger with an unsteady bridge, so they were having their test in a room set up like a mock-Conn-Pod. It had a solid floor, two simple rigs from the ceiling and the Pons system. Behind a protective screen, there was a control center table and a number of scientists, his mother, his uncle and a few more familiar faces.

He was in a full suit that had been updated even in the last five months since he last wore one. It was sleek black now, with a sturdier skin-suit and thicker outer exoskeleton. The thick boots felt awkward to walk on, but painfully familiar. Ben felt his heart spike when the tech handed him his helmet.

Rey was there too, dressed and looking as uncomfortable as he felt. Her hair had been pulled back and secured at the back of her head. Ben had to flatten his own too-long hair as he secured the helmet in place.

“Okay, can you two hear me?” Luke’s voice came through the comms.

“Yep,” Ben said, accustomed to having his uncle’s voice in his ears.

“Yes,” Rey replied. Her voice sounded small and he looked over at her as she was hooked into the rig, connecting along the vertebrae spikes which would link them to the neural bridge.

Ben swallowed hard, aware that his vitals were being watched by one of the white coats standing across from them. He tried not to look at his mother. Usually there wasn’t an audience when you did this, and having her there made him even more nervous than he already was.

_ Deep breaths, Ben _ , he told himself, trying to regulate his breathing.

“Hope you won’t be disappointed,” Rey’s voice said, cutting through his meditation.

He grunted a response as the techs moved away. They were secure, but without the locks on his feet, he felt unbalanced. Blinking and focusing, he stared at a point in the wall and listened to Luke.

“Okay folks, we all know why we’re here,” he said. “Rey, I’ve read your files a few times so you know how this goes. Most likely nothing will happen and this is a huge waste of time for all of us.”

Ben half-smirked, wishing Windu were here to retort.

“Thanks,” Rey said. “That’s so helpful.”

Luke glanced over at Leia, who just sighed and rubbed her temple. “Just move it along, please,” she said, her words sounding muffled to Ben’s ears inside the suit.

Luke nodded and went back to his microphone. “All right. We’re booting up the bridge now. It’ll be lighter than in an actual Jaeger, but it will serve the purpose of this little...experiment.”

Ben nodded stiffly. He had to make a big twist of his torso to see Rey thanks to the design of the helmets, but she looked tense and nervous, hands clenched at her sides.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Relax.”

“You’re the last person who should be telling me to relax,” Rey grumbled out through gritted teeth but she did loosen her fists.

Ben shrugged. Luke started the countdown to the neural bridge, blue eyes intent on his screens.

“Two...one…”

Ben felt a shift, a surge that, when fought, hurt like hell, but his body instinctively accepted it. The rig jostled as he moved and then he realized that this wasn’t  _ nothing _ like Rey had described before.

He could hear Rey’s panicked breathing through his helmet, the murmur and shift of the crowd watching them.

“Rey, just breathe, don’t fight it,” he said, even as he took his own advice. The wave of the Drift cemented, pulling their minds together.

Memories rushed by in shades of blue, jumping and skipping between them. Ben building model airplanes with Han. Rey sleeping behind a dumpster and finding a stray kitten. Ben hugging his mom at his grandfather’s funeral. Rey hiding in a Kaiju safe bunker during an attack. Ben watching his father pilot one of the first Jaegers. Rey hitchhiking across the country. Flashes of Ben and Rey’s Jaeger Academy training. The pain and shock of Knifehead.

Ben gulped and let that pass over him, not holding on. Rey gasped and stumbled forward in the room, her rig pulling at the ceiling.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Leia said, her voice cutting through the ringing in Ben’s ears.

The click of the microphone button made Ben wince.

“Okay, the neural bridge is there and holding,” Luke said. “Congratulations on your first successful Drift, Ranger Johnson.”

Rey’s breathing was heavy. Ben could feel her confusion and frustration, overpowering the slightest twinges of excitement and that deep bodily ache that was like sadness but so much more. “Thanks,” she said. “I think.”

“What do you say, Ben?” Luke asked.

Ben took a shaky breath. “It’s okay.”

He knew Rey could feel his own wariness and hesitation, and wasn’t surprised when she said, “Just okay? Wow, thanks a lot.”

He was just twisting around to face her when Leia spoke. “Pull them out. I want them to do training rounds with Windu and a test run in the  _ Falcon _ .”

“The  _ Falcon _ ’s not ready yet,” Rey responded, gasping a little as Luke disconnected the bridge.

Ben’s head swam for a minute as he came back to himself.

“Then I’ll get down to J-tech and make sure they get their asses in gear,” Leia said, turning and walking out of the room.


	3. Chapter Two: Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training goes a little rocky after their first Drift, but once Ben and Rey Drift _in_ the _Falcon_ , things start to look up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Tuesday, another chapter. Some of the more emotional meat of the story, with a hint of action. Rey and Ben start to feel each other out and learn about each other so they're no longer strangers...
> 
> I hope you like it!
> 
> Also, there's a surprise in this chapter for Bina! 😉

Rey had no idea how she would feel after the successful Drift. She went in expecting nothing, but left with the taste of someone else’s life lingering in the back of her mind. It was bizarre, it was surreal, and any elation she had about finally being able to fulfil her dream of becoming a Ranger was thwarted by how unstable she felt, how confused she was that it worked  _ this time _ .

She left the testing room first, leaving Ben behind, still connected to the motion rig. She yanked off the helmet as the techs raced after her for the gear.

One could read and watch as much as offered but nothing could compare to the real thing. Rey’s head was spinning a little, taking in the new memories, fading away and leaving her fingers tingling.

It wasn’t... _ bad _ , but it wasn’t something she was ready for. She didn’t really know how to equate this with her broken brain, how that worked...it shouldn’t have.

Confusion swept over her as she got out of her suit and stepped back into her canvas pants, combat boots and pulled her navy blue jacket over her tanktop, not caring that she was sweaty from the stress of the Drift. She would have to report to the Marshal soon, go about all the preparations she was meant to do two years ago, but right now, she needed to breathe.

She hurried through the bunker, knowing just where to go and how to move fast. The big hangar doors obviously led to the landing pad and out to the ocean for easy transport, but there were plenty of other doors that led outside.

The cold Alaskan air hit her hard and she regretted not wearing gloves. She stayed close to the building, noting workers smoking cigarettes and laughing in a group nearby. A few of them saw her, but didn’t call her over as she gulped in air and leaned back against the concrete side of the building. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips against the frost, resituating herself as she tried to come to terms with everything that happened.

She had years of degradation, of failing to become a Ranger, to overcome. She had settled into her life in J-tech, a little bitter but she loved the work. And now? Now that would all change. Being a Ranger meant fighting in a Jaeger, it meant training consistently, it meant press interviews and meeting the public and being a face for the PPDC.

Was she ready for that after a life of invisibility?

oOo

The clank of bostaffs filled the Kwoon, currently closed off from any prying eyes. Mace Windu stood to the side, frustration growing as he watched the two in front of him. Ben Solo had come a long way in the past five months, since they recovered him and an unconscious Han from the wrecked Conn-Pod of the  _ Millenium Falcon _ . He was still building strength and flexibility on his damaged right side, but he was putting his all into this training.

Rey Johnson, on the other hand, was a menace. She had Ranger training, that much was true, but she was all wrong. During their initial tryout, she had moved fluidly, with a hard-edged grace that complimented Ben’s movements. But ever since the practice Drift, she’d been all over the place.

It was hard to watch.

“Stop, stop,  _ stop _ !” he yelled out and both of them ceased. He stepped down onto the mat. “What in the holy hell are you doing?”

“Training,” Ben said, chest heaving with effort. Rey just glared.

“You call that training? You know you’re supposed to be  _ partners _ right? You’re not meant to be  _ fighting each other _ .”

Ben huffed. “She’s all out of tune,” he mumbled.

“Excuse me? I didn’t ask to have a Drift partner who can barely support his weak side. What are we supposed to do when we’re in a Jaeger?” Rey shot back, eyes icy, knuckles turning white as she gripped her staff.

“You, Ranger Johnson, are gonna be on the right hemisphere, to make up for any shortcomings Solo has,” Mace retorted, stabbing the air with his index finger. “Solo will take lead point. Y’all have got to get your shit together before Jannah Calrissian shows up to tweak her battle formations. If she does it wrong, you’re both fucked.”

Rey swallowed down a retort, Windu could see it on her face. Ben’s gaze hardened, sliding his eyes over to Rey. Neither of them protested.

“All right,” the Fightmaster said. “Let’s try something else. Stand side by side. Right, now go through the fifty-two formations for Jaeger Bushido and try to keep time with each other.”

The two Rangers said nothing to each other as they situated themselves, feet shoulder width apart, holding their staffs with two hands, held out stiffly in front of their bodies.

There were plenty of Rangers that didn’t get along all the time; it came with the territory of such a stressful job. It wasn’t easy, saving the world. Strong Drift partners could be friends, family, lovers, or strangers. It didn’t matter, as long as they could control themselves and keep a calm mind so they didn’t budge the neural bridge while connected. There needed to be some respect there, sharing yourself with another person, no matter who they were.

Windu was sure that Ben Solo would be fine. But he couldn’t say the same about Rey Johnson. She was an anomaly. He’d gone over her records with Leia himself, and they didn’t make any sense. Why she suddenly could Drift with Ben baffled the whole tech and science crews, but they were going to just have to deal with it.

At least Solo was willing to try, even if he was hesitant. Windu hadn’t lost a Drift partner while still connected to them, but Kit Fisto had succumbed to radiation poisoning and cancer soon after their second kill. He hadn’t stepped foot in a Jaeger since. He understood Ben’s reluctance.

But it was his job to get them ready. They had a test Drift in the  _ Falcon _ ’s refurbished Conn-Pod in two days and they needed it to go smoothly. The Pan Pacific Defense Corps couldn’t stand to lose another Ranger or two. There were few enough people across the billions in the world who could Drift successfully, they had to do whatever it took to keep battling the monsters of the deep.

So when Rey stumbled out of line, Windu took a deep breath and barked out, “Again!” They returned to the starting position and worked until their arms shook from holding up their staffs.

oOo

“Rey!”

Rey flinched at her name being called across the mess hall. She sighed, clutching her slate-gray food tray. As she turned, she watched Ben Solo jog up through the tables toward her.

“What do you want?” she sighed. She was sore from days of training, not sleeping well and the anxiety of their first Drift trial run in the  _ Falcon _ in just a few hours.

“Come sit with the team.” He motioned back toward his table where a group of people sat, trying not to look like they were watching them closely.

Rey took a deep breath. She was still unsure that she was prepared for this whole thing, but she should at least make an effort. Maybe this was all some bad karma trip and she’d wake up tomorrow and be a simple Jaeger technician again, not having to share her life and her emotions with another person.

“Okay.” She followed him over, sitting across the table from him. She knew that every Jaeger had a core team that sat at the top of their hierarchy that trickled all the way down to the J-tech floaters like herself that kept the machines running.

“Hey,” she said, because no one was jumping in to talk. “I’m Rey.”

The woman next to her beamed, her eyes big and green, the peak of a tattoo showing beneath her collar. “I’m Hera,” she introduced, waving her spoon. Her voice was thick ith a French accent. “Hera Syndulla. Jumphawk pilot. Not exclusive to the  _ Falcon _ but--”

“She’s married to me, and I  _ am  _ exclusive to the  _ Falcon _ ,” a man with a ponytail and brown skin finished. “Kanan Jarrus. Neural Bridge Operator. I’ll be there with Luke Skywalker in your heads when you’re in the field, making sure everything’s stable.”

Rey gave him a small smile. And the rest of the table went around introducing themselves. There was the tall, shaggy haired man who introduced himself as Chewie, weapon’s specialist. A tiny, gray haired fellow with a squeaky voice was Yoda, a Jaeger Engineer. He’d drawn the original blueprints for the  _ Millenium Falcon _ and while he was getting up there in age, he was still part of the fight. And lastly, Jannah Calrissian, who Rey had met the previous day during training. She was the Battle Programmer, who would write ghost code into the  _ Falcon _ so it could anticipate common Ranger fight movements and strategy.

Rey had never been part of a group like this before. She stuck to herself during the Academy, especially after her failed Drifting, and then she continued to live an invisible, but productive life at the Shatterdome. She had no one she would call  _ a friend _ , but she knew the faces and names of a lot of people, from a lot of different Jaegers. She was whip-smart when it came to languages, and she’d been getting more practice than ever living here amid people from all across the globe.

In spite of her unwillingness to let herself get attached, she found herself easily falling into conversation with the whole table. She had a lot of knowledge about Rangers and their role due to her training, and furthermore, she knew a lot about the inner workings of the machines. The table was loud and welcoming.

More than once, she found herself smiling or chuckling and she actually meant it.

oOo

The  _ Falcon _ still needed work on her arms, but the Conn-Pod was completely fixed and for a simple test, she should be fine. Ben hovered in the hallway by the elevator leading to the Conn-Pod entrance, helmet in hand.

His chest felt tight, and the memory of the burning sensation down the right side of his body felt fresh and new. His breathing grew heavily, almost into a pant. Inside his gloves, his hands were sweaty.

“Hey,” Rey sidled up next to him, shaking him into focus. “You okay?”

“Nervous,” Ben answered honestly. “I love being in a Jaeger, there’s nothing like it, but it’s still…”

She bumped her elbow against his arm, almost too soft for him to feel it. He looked down at her, but her eyes were set straight ahead. “It’s a fresh pain, I get it.”

Neither of them said anything else before the doors opened and they stepped in. There was a jolt as the elevator shot upward and finally opened into a short, dark corridor. At the other end, the gaping entrance to the  _ Falcon _ ’s Conn-Pod stood open, shiny and new.

Rey walked in first, eyes roaming over the switches and gages, at the “eyes” of the Jaeger where the HUD screens would pop up once they plugged in. “Wow,” she said softly, moving to the right motion rig. “I’ve been in Jaegers before but not... _ in _ a Jaeger before, y’know?”

He pressed his lips into a line and nodded. 

Rey pulled on her helmet and eyed the shifting floor.

Ben walked to the left and pushed a button on his control panel, signalling they were in. It closed the outer doors and lit up the HUD screen. Luke’s voice came into the space via microphones in the Conn-Pod and more directly in their helmets too.

“All right, ready to go?” Luke asked.

“Yep,” Rey said, locking her feet into the pedals on the floor at the same time as Ben. The motion rigs automatically began to descend and lock into the back of their suits. It was sturdier than in the practice room.

“Ready,” Ben spoke.

Luke’s voice was surprisingly welcome and calming for Ben, even if they didn’t always see eye-to-eye. “Okay. So we’re gonna drop you down to the  _ Falcon _ and connect the Conn-Pod, then ignite the bridge. Just stay put. Our hope is that you’ll take a step, work the arms. J-tech crew wants to see the arms in action to see what’s left to fix.”

“Okay,” Rey affirmed.

Ben nodded, feeling his stomach rise as the small Conn-Pod--the  _ head _ of the Jaeger if you will--quickly descended down a shaft, similar to an elevator. There was a small jostle as it set down and connected to the rest of the  _ Falcon _ .

“That’s new,” Rey muttered, her arms waving out to her sides to keep her balance. They shifted along with the machine as they fell, and settled.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights,” Ben scoffed, checking the illuminated stats on the screen in front of him.

“No.” Rey shook her head sharply. “But I’ve never been a fan of the feeling of falling.”

Ben blinked and glanced over at her as she checked her side of things. “You’re in control here,” he said.

Rey made a non-committal noise as a response and then Kanan’s voice entered the Jaeger.

“Okay, you two. I wasn’t there for the initial Drift, but Rey, this is gonna be bigger, more intense. You’ll be fine, just be prepared. Let the memories wash over you and don’t latch on.”

It was good advice that Ben also repeated to himself.

“And once you’re linked, I’ll be monitoring you but Luke will be doing the talking.”

“He loves to hear the sound of his own voice,” Ben chuckled.

“I heard that,” Luke retorted.

Ben glanced over Rey, whose smile was mostly hidden by the curve of her helmet and the lights bouncing off it. “We’re ready,” he said, settling back and holding himself straight.

Rey mirrored his pose.

“Okay, neutral bridge in, three, two, one…” The rush of the link drowned out anything else Kanan said.

Memories swarmed Ben’s mind: his own and Rey’s. They mixed up together, out of order, but not out of sync. Once again, he felt the fear and panic rise up from the last time he was in the Jaeger, but he closed his eyes, breathed deep and felt the corner of his dad’s dice digging into his chest under his suit. It grounded him and after a momentary blip, the memories flowed.

With a little gasp, they both jolted into the present. Kanan was right; the bond between two Rangers  _ and _ their Jaeger was totally different than the mock Drift in that stationary room. The machine _ became _ \--it  _ was _ a part of you, and the two of you were one in the same. It was like how swordsmen would say their weapon was an extension of their arm and you could tell they were serious with how they moved. The Jaeger was like that, only it was two hundred feet of steel and ingenuity.

“Holding steady,” Kanan’s voice trickled in.

Ben blinked. He could feel Rey there. There were no walls between them, but it wasn’t mind reading. He couldn’t troop around in her memories or anything, but he knew that if they stayed together, linked like this for a long time, sometimes it would feel like her memories were his. It happened once with his dad, when they had to be plugged in for ten hours, fighting a stubborn Kaiju down by Southern California. It had been really weird to unplug and he felt strange for the rest of the week before the feeling dissipated. No one knew for sure how the effects of the neural bridge would react between two people. He knew of some Rangers who kept all of their memories and emotions out of the Drift except for the initial handshake.

“Neural handshake engaged and holding strong,” Luke affirmed. “You guys look great. Let’s calibrate.”

Ben nodded, moving first without having to ask. He reached for the circular motion-ring and held it in his hand. Pressing a button on his console, the device lit up and he lifted his arm, bent it at the elbow and pulled down. The screen blinked green. “Left hemisphere engaged.”

Rey copied him, following his movements. “Right hemisphere engaged.”

Ben followed her motions, holding his hands where she held her hands.

“Okay good, good. Let’s try one step. Not too far, just enough to get Rey used to the rig,” Luke told them.

They nodded in unison and, with effort, lifted their left legs. The pedals on their feet moved like an elliptical, but it was heavier than that. The Mark IIIs were fast for their weight, but it was still an effort to walk. The Mark V’s were so smooth you barely felt like you were doing anything when you walked.

The right foot followed and they stood there, balanced and poised. Ben clenched his right fist and Rey did the same. There was no thinking about it, no delay; they were plugged into each other and they moved as one.

“Great, that’s good. How about you try the arms?” Luke both suggested and told them.

They clenched the big metal fists and moved their arms up in a simple boxing fighting stance, one arm pulled back a little more than the other, both of them protecting their chest. The Jaeger followed on a slight delay and some of the green lights turned red.

“Good, good,” Luke repeated, obviously distracted, watching one of the many screens at his control panel in the LOCCENT room.

“Not totally great,” Ben said, eyes roaming over the HUD. “Is J-tech watching the scans?”

“Yeah. Hopefully they’ll figure out what they need to do,” Luke replied.

“The coolant leaks, probably because of a faulty coupler and the hydraulics on the right are still not strong enough to support the weight of the new materials. You’d have to redo the whole hydraulic core system,  _ or _ you could just add new hydraulic pumps,” Rey said without missing a beat.

Ben blinked, looking at her with a little bit of awe. His emotion leaked through the Drift, the same way he could feel her ease and confidence by talking about something she understood so well.

“Um...yeah, that sounds about right,” a new voice, Mr. Yoda, said with a chuckle. “How about you join the J-tech team when you’re not being a Ranger, Johnson?”

Rey grinned a little. “If only I could. We can pour over schematics in the mess, if you’d like.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” the old man replied with a chuckle before Luke got back on the mic.

“You look good. Try taking a step back and moving the  _ Falcon _ into her hangar and then we’ll disengage.”

Ben and Rey did as he asked, shifting the Jaeger back and dropping her arms to her sides, staying still as the handshake was broken, cutting off the bridge between their minds. The Conn-Pod shot upward thirty feet to where the Rangers entered and exited. Ben was used to the feeling of leaving a Drift, but he saw Rey sway a little in her motion rig.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah fine,” Rey said, waving a hand at him as the rig disengaged from the back of her suit. “Just...still not used to any of this.”

“It takes some getting used to,” he agreed, stepping out of his rig and off the pedals on the floor. The doors opened with a hiss and he waited until she was steady on her feet before walking through. “We don’t have to be friends, y’know.”

She squinted at him, holding her helmet under her arm.

“If you want to hate me for being a Ranger longer than you, or for forcing you into a Jaeger as a Ranger, you can. I can take it.”

She sighed as they made it into the big metal freight elevator. “I don’t hate you. I’m just still confused why the Drift worked with you but no one else.”

“No idea,” he shrugged a shoulder.

“What if it stops?” she asked, just before the doors opened.

Ben didn’t get a chance to respond before they were swarmed by their team, congratulating them on a successful Drift and dragging them off to get out of their drive suits and into a shower. He was sweaty and sticky, though his nerves had died down once the link had taken hold, and a shower sounded great.

Rey got lost in the crowd, but they’d see each other again. They had training and meetings and after their first deployment--or maybe before, if Leia had some trick up her sleeve--they would have to face the press and do at least one interview about their new team up. The public ate it up, and their support meant everything. Money was pouring in from every country but hyping up the good things--strong Jaegers, steady pilots--would help keep that flow of money coming.

The world wouldn’t survive without it.

oOo

Rey woke with a start, the Kaiju alarm blaring through her empty bunk. Her roommate was gone, as per usual, and she had yet been moved into the Ranger barracks. It had been just two weeks since she did the stupid, impulsive thing and challenged Ben Solo to a round in the Kwoon.

Her whole life was different now, including how she reacted to Kaiju alarms.

They rang out everywhere throughout the Shatterdome bunker, but unless you were someone who needed to be directly in the middle of things during a launch, you took your time leaving your bunk. But now, Rey bolted from her top bunk and pulled on her clothes in a hurry. Blue pants, blue turtleneck, combat boots, tan canvas jacket. She dragged her hands through her hair and pulled it back into a ponytail as she yanked open her heavy bunk door and headed into the hallway.

She didn’t think she’d be thrown into a Jaeger so quickly; not when there were plenty of other seasoned Rangers out there, ready to go, but she still rushed toward LOCCENT with a flow of traffic, dragged along until she was standing there, looking at the projection screen of the newest Kaiju. Category two, but hefty by the look of the scans, so maybe somewhere between a two and three.

She hung back as Luke and the Marshal took control. The twins--she could  _ really _ see it now, their resemblance--worked effortlessly like the pros they were. Leia’s voice boomed through the intercom, readying two Jaegers,  _ Midnight Storm _ and  _ Fulcrum Commander _ for departure. Rey had worked on both of them.  _ Midnight Storm _ just two weeks before, crawling into her heart cavern.

Luke was talking into the mic to the Rangers, and two Neural Bridge Operators were sitting at nearby command panels, plugged into whatever Jaeger they team they were a part of. 

The alarm died down, only to be replaced by more alarms, this time warning those on the ground away as the rolling tracks below the Jaegers started up. Soon, the machines would be wheeled outside and then picked up by Jumphawk helicopters and flown to wherever the Kaiju was.

Rey jumped when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. It was just Ben. “Hey,” she said, her voice rough. She dragged her eyes back to the controlled chaos.

“Hey.”

“You um...do you know them? The Rangers?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded. “They’re good. They’ll take care of it.”

Rey blocked out Luke naming the Kaiju. It was heading toward Oregan’s coast, but Rey didn’t know why. Portland was almost entirely demolished by now, but maybe this was new. It was always scary to think about, that the Kaiju could change, could start moving farther inland...anything was possible.

She hadn’t realized she was clenching her hands so tightly until Ben, who had wandered around the room, quietly speaking to his mother and others, came back to her.

“Rey!” There was concern in his voice. “You’re bleeding.”

He pried her arms open and she looked at her palms. She hadn’t even felt her nails dig into her skin, much less two of them break through on her right hand. Drops of blood dripped down her palms.

“Shit,” she hissed, yanking her arms back from his grasp.

With a sigh, he put his hand on her shoulder. “Come on, there’s a first-aid room nearby.”

Due to the grand amount of injuries that occurred throughout the Shatterdome, there was a large infirmary, but also smaller rooms with supplies sporadically placed throughout. 

Ben pulled Rey into one of the nearest ones, the door closing behind them, muffling the sounds of the bustling building. There was a lot to prepare for when a Jaeger and Rangers returned, so no one was idle during the fights. Rey stood in the corner as Ben crouched and opened a cabinet, reaching in and finding bandages and ointments. He laid a bunch out on the counter and turned on the water in the tiny metal sink.

“Thanks,” she said under her breath, biting her cheek as the water ran over the shallow wounds on her sensitive palm. “I was...nervous. Which is weird because I’ve been dealing with Kaiju my whole life.”

The Kaiju had first breached through the ocean and attacked San Francisco in 2013, twelve years ago. Rey was just a kid then, eight years old and living on the streets, trying to survive and the appearance of the monsters hadn’t helped. Or maybe it did, because she found plenty of food and clothes in the wake of an attack in half-destroyed buildings and abandoned places no one returned to. But Rey didn’t like to think that she benefited from the world’s destruction.

“Do you think you freaked out, worrying about us having to go in there next?” Ben asked, turning off the tap and drying her hand.

Rey didn’t answer right away. If she said yes, what would he think of her? He was her partner, he had to deal with her from here on out until...until the Kaiju stopped or one of them was dead. She swallowed. “Maybe,” she settled on as he spread antibiotic cream on the small wounds and then plastered them with bandaids. “I’ve never been faced with that before now. I was ready two years ago, fresh out of the Academy, but the reality is...frightening.”

“It is,” he agreed, not sugar-coating it. He stood up straight and nodded down at her. “Better?”

Rey flexed her hands. The bandages were small and malleable. She could move easily and they barely tugged on her skin. “Yeah, thanks.” She stayed there by the sink as he crouched to put everything back. “You’re pretty good at that.”

“I was what you’d call a daredevil when I was younger. Got into a lot of scuffs, hurt myself a lot. I guess I got used to taking care of myself once my mom and dad were off saving the world,” he said into the cabinet.

“Oh,” Rey said, rubbing her thumb over her injured palm. She should leave, she really should, but something rooted here there to the spot.

Ben stood, swept a hand through his thick, long hair and gave her a small smile without any teeth. “Being in a Jaeger is awesome. The power is fun, but the reality of what we do is not so much. If you don’t have just a little bit of fear when you land in the water and face a Kaiju, you’re likely to get cocky and get killed.”

Rey nodded slightly. If anyone would understand her fears, it would be another pilot, obviously. She should be more okay with sharing things with Ben, since he was her partner, he would feel her emotions anyway whenever they next Drifted.

“The Marshal will let us know when she thinks we’re ready to go into the field before it happens,” he added, standing in front of her and putting his hand on her shoulder. It was big and heavy and warm. “It won’t be a total surprise.”

“Right.” Rey plastered on half a smile. “I want to go watch. I stopped watching the fights after I failed out of the Academy.”  _ It hurt too much, knowing I wasn’t out there, putting myself on the line like I had sworn to do _ .

“Sure,” Ben said. “I’m gonna grab some food. I’ll meet you back inside.”

They parted ways outside the door. Rey went to the right, back to the LOCCENT room, which had calmed down. A handful of other Rangers were there, watching the shaking cameras from numerous helicopters, risking their lives to get their eyes on the Jaegers and the Kaiju so The Marshal could give orders properly. 

oOo

The fight lasted five hours, which was short for a Kaiju fight so close to the coast.  _ Fulcrum _ took the killing blow and the Kaiju named Fiend went down. Ben and Rey watched the whole thing and the cheers that filled LOCCENT were quiet but no less enthusiastic about the kill. Both Jaegers had meager damage, the Rangers were fine.

Rey was about to go back to her bunk but Ben grabbed her before she got too far.

“What?” she asked, eyes heavy and tired.

“You’re a Ranger now, we should go greet them back,” he told her. Their short conversation in the infirmary closet was probably the realest they’d ever been with each other, and that included when they were in each other’s heads.

She raised her eyebrows. “Is that something we do?”

“Yeah, shows good sportsmanship.”

She sighed and nodded. First, they went and got a bit more food from the mess hall, including weak coffee for a caffeine boost. The J-tech crews for both Jaegers were waiting, away from the rolling belts that pulled the Jaegers back inside, but still on the main hangar floor. Soon, four people were walking toward them to make their reports, standing tall and proud in their gear.

Finn Cooper and Poe Dameron were the pilots of  _ Midnight Storm _ , wearing orange and black to match the paint job on the Jaeger. Ben was able to stop and give both of them a hug. He was glad they were okay. Like Ben, Poe had grown up around the Shatterdome, taken in by Luke after his parents died while trying to fight off the first waves of Kaiju with useless jets and standard bombs. He was like family. And Finn had Poe’s heart, so he was family too.

Rey was quickly introduced and then she and Ben stood off the side as the next team made their walk away from  _ Fulcrum Commander _ . Ahsoka Tano, with her white hair braided and tucked against her scalp, was kind and one of the Rangers who did part of Ben’s training in the Academy, even though she was fairly new to it herself. Next to her was Rex Morrison, one of the oldest Rangers still getting into a suit and piloting a Jaeger. He knew Han; Ben could remember him visiting the house from before the Kaiju.

The  _ Fulcrum _ Rangers wore white and blue and their team was super enthusiastic about their return. The lower level techies were treated with the same respect as the head of the J-tech crew. Ben watched a small, silent exchange between Ahsoka and someone Ben half-recognized. A smaller man, thick dark tattoos all over his body, his head shaved. All Ben could conjure up was the name Maul, though whether it was a first or last name or a nickname, he couldn’t tell. But he saw the visible relief over the shorter man’s face about Ahsoka’s return before the crowd swarmed around them.


	4. Chapter Three: Once More With Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time passes.  
> Emotional whump.  
> Leia is a badass mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! (Nearly to the end.) This was a struggle for me, but I think I managed to hit the emotional high notes I wanted! I hope y'all enjoy it!

Three months passed. Rey and Ben continued to train, syncing up their fighting styles and meeting exclusively with Mace Windu and Jannah Calrissian. They went over fight plans and Jaeger motion controls. Ben knew a lot, having been a pilot for eight years. Rey knew a lot about the way Jaegers operate, which was both good and bad.

Good because she was familiar with it and it would make things easier once they were in the  _ Falcon _ fighting. Bad because she thought she knew everything. She ran over Ben during meetings, and they butted heads more than once about battle strategy. Away from meetings and training, Rey mostly disappeared and only ate meals with the  _ Falcon _ team half the time.

Ben tried not to get pissed about it. He was used to working with his dad, working a certain way. After years of that, it was hard to adjust. And Rey...she didn’t seem to be a team player, nor did she go out of her way to connect with the Jaeger team or anyone beyond the grunt tech workers.

More than once he found her covered in grease, working in the chest cavity or internal structure of one of the Jaegers. Mostly it was the  _ Falcon _ , which he probably should have been happy about, but it merely annoyed him instead.

His weekly meetings with Andrew Snoke didn’t help his attitude either. Physically he was fine: his leg and hip was better, his arm had lost 10% of its mobility but it was safe enough for him to still pilot, and the scans on his brain showed limited scarring and full cognitive function. Even among that, he felt off-kilter. Easier to aggravate, mood swings, depressive episodes. Seeing Snoke was supposed to help that, but it only seemed to make it worse.

After the latest meeting, he stalked through the halls from the admin part of the building toward the hangar. He was supposed to be heading toward the Kwoon for practice but he needed a second for some air and the hangar was the biggest place in the Shatterdome. Even with the bay doors open, there was more air circulation there. And, while he was used to the cold, he hated it. He only went out on occasion to the neighboring town, taking a ferry with his team and celebrating small--or large--victories.

Today was not one of those days. Today, he avoided most eye contact and gave stiff nods to anyone who caught his gaze. He didn’t stop to chat. His knuckles hurt from the way he clenched his fists. 

Before he knew it, he ended up in the pit below  _ Midnight Storm _ , where the J-tech crew were playing cards and loudly talking over each other. A sharp sound of someone dropping a wrench brought Ben out of his fog.

He wasn’t really up for social contact and began to take a step away, but then someone called out, “Hey, Solo!” and he stopped.

Finn walked out from around the back of the Jaeger’s huge metal foot. “Hey, man, where’re you going? You’re not being shy, are you?”

Ben scoffed, dragging his hand through his hair and shrugging. “Nah, just...wandering.”

“Ah.” Finn’s hands were greasy as if he’d been working on parts and he wiped them on a dirty cloth tossed over his shoulder. “Looking for Poe?”

“Not particularly.”

“How’s it going? With the new Ranger?”

Ben’s face must have said it all because Finn barked out a laugh.

“That good huh?”

“It’s frustrating,” Ben confessed, waving his hands around. “One day, things will be fine, the next, she’s completely shut down and disappears.”

Finn crossed his arms and tilted his head. “Huh. Well, this is probably overwhelming. The whole Shatterdome is buzzing with her story. Crazy.”

“Mmmm.” Ben sighed and took a deep breath. “It’s not the same as it was with my dad.”

“Yeah, I can’t--I can’t imagine.” Finn shook his head, a frown creasing his forehead. “But look, give her time. How’s your dialogue?”

“Good. That’s the one and only solid thing.” They did move in tandem well. Jannah was even taking into consideration how Ben was working a different hemisphere of the machine and his fighting ability was slightly shifted to accommodate his injuries. Rey was always one hundred percent on the mats after Mace went apeshit on them early on.

“Start there. Try to talk to her while you’re both in sync.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Finn moved close and clapped a hand down on Ben’s shoulder. “You’ve got this. We’ll be needing backup out there soon enough. The Kaiju aren’t slowing down.”

Ben swallowed hard. He saw the reports. The Marshal wasn’t one to keep things hidden from her workers. If they didn’t have the big picture, they couldn’t do their jobs. But the future was looking grim.

“Yeah. Thanks, Finn.”

“No problem.” He gave Ben a tiny shove. “Now get outta here before my crew wants autographs.”

Ben snorted at the thought. To the outside world, Jaeger pilots were celebrities, but to everyone inside a Shatterdome? They were workers, soldiers, just like anyone else.

oOo

Ben was late. Rey had been stretching and practicing for the last thirty minutes as Mace stood at attention. Jannah was there also, sitting on the steps, tablet in hand.

“You know who’s a really good battle programmer? Like...top tier?” Jannah asked, head still bowed, though she occasionally looked up to watch Rey move.

“I dunno,” Rey huffed, skin covered in a sheen of sweat. She paused her Bushido forms and leaned against the bostaff. “Should I know this?”

Jannah shrugged. “No. But he works here.”

Rey waited a beat, two. “And? Are you gonna make me guess?”

“He goes by Maul. I don’t think anyone knows his real name.”

“Who chooses to go by Maul?”

“I hear he used to be part of an epic underground death metal band before the Kaiju hit and that’s where the name’s from.”

“So you’re a fangirl.” Rey grinned. “That’s so nerdy.”

“As if you don’t have a role model,” Jannah muttered.

Rey shrugged. She really didn’t. She’d been picking herself up and setting her life course on her own for her entire existence. She didn’t need someone else to follow. “Have you spoken to him? Since you started here?”

Jannah had only become a Battle Programmer three years ago, mentoring under the  _ Falcon _ ’s previous BP, Maz Kanata, before taking on the position. She’d been here longer than Rey. “No,” she said quietly.

Rey rolled her eyes. “You’re adorable.” She spun her staff in one hand and transferred it to the other.

Ben still wasn’t here and Rey turned to Mace, who had been talking into a phone for the last twenty minutes. She narrowed her eyes toward the Kwoon entrances but he didn’t magically appear. Their timeslot was nearly up and the next team would be in to take over.

“He’s not coming,” she said finally, as soon as Windu was off the phone.

The Fightmaster glanced around as if just now noticing the lack of a second Ranger. He nodded once. “Seems you’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow, Johnson.” He turned and walked off then to do...whatever. Write up a report, practice his moves, or whatever it was Fightmasters did when they weren’t training.

Rey sighed and placed the staff in the rack before lifting the bottom of her shirt to dab her face. “I’m heading out,” she called to Jannah, who was still leaning over the tablet. “You should go talk to him.”

“Who?” Jannah asked, lifting her head in confusion.

“Your death metal rockstar role model,” Rey teased before she walked out of the room.

oOo

Leia Organa frown deepened as she placed the tablet down, leaving the newest report open on her desk. She looked across the barren office: it was mostly concrete, with metal doors. A bookcase in the corner, a heavy desk with framed photographs with a comfortable chair behind, and thinly cushioned benches for visitors. Her private quarters were off to the side, behind thick doors.

She rarely slept a full night any longer. The years had not been kind to her, taking away her parents while reuniting her with her brother during their work for PPDC after they’d floated away from each other. And Han...Han was always there, her constant rock and companion no matter how much they fought. They were both passionate people, and that meant they didn’t always see eye-to-eye. But she loved him more than she had ever loved anyone in her nearly sixty years of life. 

That is, until Ben came along. Her son was the most important thing to her; she would give her own life for him willingly and without question or hesitation. And while they kept things mostly professional around the ‘Dome, he was still her son. They were close, a little tender from Han’s death, but he was her boy.

Which is why the notes from Windu’s report troubled her. Ben was a quiet, old soul, ever since he was born, but he had acquired some of Han’s smugness and stubbornness and recklessness as he got older. Leia saw more of Han in Ben after they started Drifting together. It was inevitable. Ben blossomed as himself, but he was his father’s son, no denying it.

Leia pursed her lips and tapped her nails against her desk top before she made a decision. She spent the next thirty minutes reading Ben’s psych eval reports and her suspicions grew.

With all of her authority, she marched out of her office and through the labyrinth of corridors until she reached a particular office. Like most other doors in the 'Dome, it was made of metal, though it was only two inches thick and shaped like any other house door rather than a bulkhead.

She knocked heavily on it, as loud as she could. The small burst of pain in her knuckles sparked the fire in her.

A few moments later, the door opened, revealing the tall and grey-haired Andrew Snoke, the Shatterdome’s resident psychiatrist.

“Marshal Organa, what a pleasant surprise,” the man purred, though it sounded more like a threat than a welcome.

“I’d like to speak with you, Dr. Snoke,” Leia said, taking a step forward. With no other option, he let her inside and offered her a seat. She didn't take it, preferring to stand opposite his desk.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Leia took a deep breath to compose herself. Ben didn’t get all of his fiery personality from Han. “How long has it been since you’ve been officially audited for malpractice?”

Snoke’s eyebrows twitched up. “Malpractice? Are you implying something, Marshal?”

“I am.” Leia held his gaze, steady and intense. “I respect patient-doctor confidentiality so I won’t lower myself to the level of begging. But since he has been coming to see you for the past eight months, Ben Solo’s psych evals have been getting significantly worse. His mental space has been impacting his work as a Ranger and that is unacceptable.”

Snoke sat back, folding his hands and placing them over his abdomen. “Everyone reacts to grief and loss differently, Marshal, as I’m sure you know.”

Leia didn’t flinch. “Yes, I know.”

“Then I don’t see why you’re coming directly to me. Perhaps this is something to speak with Ranger Solo about.”

She took a deep breath, holding herself as high as she could despite her short height. “It is not only Ranger Solo, Dr. Snoke. Multiple Rangers’ reports have come back with instances in which I think you have misspoke and guided them in ways that do not follow proper conduct.”

One of Snoke’s eyes twitched, but he kept his voice calm. “I will be more than happy to--”

“Suspension,” Leia interrupted, her hand cutting through the air. “Suspension under review. Effective immediately.”

Snoke’s eyes widened then. He sat forward. “You can’t do that.”

“Oh, can’t I?” She tapped the colored badge on her chest. “This says that I can. This is my operation and I see you as unfit for duty any longer. I’ll send word for a replacement, perhaps a whole team, that will be better suited to help my Rangers.”

Snoke seethed. She could see it behind his eyes, in the way his hands gripped the arms of his chair.

“I expect you to be on the first ferry out tomorrow and I am cancelling all of your appointments,” she finished. There was something so satisfying about the look on his face: he was powerless to do anything against her. It was like crushing an ant under her boot.

Turning on her heel, Leia walked out of the room. Just as she crossed the threshold, Snoke called out, “You’ll regret this!”

She pressed her lips into a thin line and turned to see him standing behind his desk, shaking with rage. “I doubt that,” she replied, slamming the door.

oOo

Ben had done a good job of keeping to himself for the rest of the day. He skipped out on the Kwoon and spent the day on the catwalks and then in his room, taking apart and putting back together one of the metal model planes he and Han used to make when he was younger. It was all screws and bolts, no snaps and plastic, so it lasted.

He was lost in his work and was thankful that he hadn’t found his bunk moved to a shared Ranger room yet. He didn’t want Rey to walk in and find him like this: brow furrowed, eyes dark, the weight and rush of a wave of darkness ebbing and flowing through him.

The squeak of the bulkhead door broke him out of his mind. The plane was nearly pieced back together. Ben twisted in his chair and found his mother poking her head inside.

“Ben?” she said softly.

“Mom?” He got to his feet and pulled the door the rest of the way open. It wasn’t rare that he and his mom met up, but she rarely came to his room. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Leia walked inside and he pushed the door shut. It didn’t latch, but it cut them off from the hallway. “Yes. I fired Snoke,” she said matter-of-factly.

Ben froze. “What?”

Leia sighed and patted his chest, just above his heart, on her way to sit on the edge of his bed. “I fired him. I felt like he was exhibiting malpractice and he’s fired and under investigation.”

“Why?” Ben stayed where he was, standing in the middle of the room, feeling dumbfounded by his own mother.

Leia rubbed a hand over her face. “Because I’ve read your recent reports Ben. Yours and other Rangers,” she added. “But I noticed it in yours.”

“It?”

“He wasn’t helping, was he?” Her voice was soft and kind and warm like a hug.

Ben felt suddenly overwhelmed and like he was going to cry. He shook his head sharply once and blinked his eyes clear.

“I should have seen it sooner. Ben...you should have told me,” she said softly.

“Told you what?”

“Whatever it was. Whatever he was saying and making you believe.” She got to her feet, though it didn’t make her very much taller than sitting. “I know you, Benjamin Solo, and I know that the behaviors you’ve been showing toward your training and work as a Ranger isn’t like you. You  _ love _ this. You’ve spent your whole life wanting to be a pilot and here you are. And yeah, they’re not planes or jets, but it’s still your title. And I know you want to do this for your dad.

“I know, I just  _ know _ , that you don’t want to squander this opportunity.” 

Ben sniffed and swiped a large hand over his eyes, wiping away stubborn tears. “I know. You’re right.” His voice was thick, his throat hot.

“What happened? Do you want to tell me? You’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and that’s what I’m here for.”

“I--I--” Ben shook his head and moved quickly, plopping down on the bed and leaning over, elbows digging into his knees, holding his head. Leia stood next to him, rubbing his shoulders with her soft hands. “He said...he said a lot of shit I knew was wrong but I just let him say it.” His voice was muffled by his hands.

“What things?”

Ben took a deep breath, his whole body shaking with the effort. His mom’s hands on his shoulders, smoothing over his shirt and then over his hair, reminded him of when he was little, before the Kaiju attacked. She always seemed to have a sixth sense about him and when he’d wake up from nightmares, she’d be there already with a glass of warm water and her soft, kind hands.

He felt young again, like his mom could make it all better by stroking his hair and telling him everything would be okay.

“He said that I was steeped in failure,” Ben got out finally, dropping his hands, his head falling forward. Leia’s hands stilled for a moment before resuming their motions. “That I--I  _ failed _ when I couldn’t save Dad.”

The tears fell freely, though the knot in his chest grew tighter even as Leia lifted his head in her hands. Her eyes were glossy too, though there was a fierceness behind them.

“Benjamin Bail Organa-Solo,” she said, pulling out his full name which filled his chest with a different kind of tightness, “you are not responsible for your father’s death. Not even remotely. Do you hear me?”

He nodded.

“Han--Han was a grown ass man and he knew what he was doing every time he walked into that Conn-Pod and I’m glad he had you there with him. And you, my sweet angel of a boy, you brought him home.”

By now, both of them were crying without holding back; soft, weary tears, sharp, broken tears.

Ben hugged his mom--she was always so tiny, he hadn’t been able to crawl into her lap comfortably since he was ten--and she surrounded him with her arms, holding onto as much as she could. He mumbled and rambled about how he knew that but he didn’t know how much he needed to hear it. He missed the look of motherly pain that crossed Leia’s face at the knowledge that she hadn’t tried to help him sooner.

But she was here now and he was grateful. The tightness in his chest loosened like tugging on a shoestring until it unraveled. He felt lighter, but no less sad. It was hard  _ not _ to be sad. But maybe it was okay to feel that way for longer than a prescribed number of months.

“Everything is gonna be okay,” Leia said, her voice shaking. No one knew if that was true. The world was too uncertain. But she was his mom, and he believed her.

oOo

Rey was surprised to see Ben in the Kwoon before her when she walked in the next day. “Hey,” she said, unzipping her fleece coat and folding it. She placed it on top of the low bench and her boots underneath.

“Hey,” Ben replied, tying the top of his hair back. He hadn’t had it trimmed and it was long. Rey found that she didn’t mind it and was sometimes jealous of how effortlessly it seemed to fall in waves. “Sorry about yesterday.”

Rey pursed her lips and started her stretches, her muscles already warm from the walk over and the climb down from the catwalks around the  _ Falcon _ . “It’s your loss, not mine,” she shrugged before stretching her arms above her head.

“We’re a team and we’re only as strong together as each of us are alone,” he continued. “I um...I’ve come to a revelation.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. And it’s helped.” He paused, tossing his bostaff across his shoulders and hanging his wrists over the ends. “I noticed you don’t hang out with the team.”

Rey scoffed.

“Or spend time with me outside of training.”

“Am I supposed to?”

“It’s not required, but we’re new to this--you to Drifting in general, me to Drifting with someone who isn’t my dad. We have to work harder than most.”

He made a good point. She got to her feet and placed her hands on her hips. “Okay. Valid. I’ll...try. I’m not very good at this.”

“At what?”

“Interacting,” Rey said with a heaved breath. “With people. I grew up on the streets, I never had a family, I’m a drifter. I like to be alone.”

Ben tilted his head to the side. “Okay. But no one likes to be alone all the time. I’m here to help, y’know.”

Her face flushed a little red and she couldn’t even blame it on the workout. “I’ll try,” she repeated with a little more confidence.

Ben met her eyes with a soft smile. “Good.”


	5. Chapter Four: Go Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben suit up for their first Kaiju kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, at the end! I'm sorry that this fic isn't longer, but I was having a hard time writing it and was happy enough to end it here. I hope you enjoy it!

A few days later, Ben and Rey got two surprises: they were assigned a new joint bunk and a Kaiju hit just hours after they’d both fallen asleep in their new digs.

The alarm shocked both of them awake. Rey more than Ben, who was accustomed to it. She jumped out of her bed and tugged on her new clothes, the custom made ones that matched the  _ Falcon _ ’s colors and design logo.

Ben followed more slowly even as Rey flitted around the room, reading the screen-inset in the wall. They had been on call ever since that day Ben  _ found himself _ or whatever, meaning they had the anticipation of a Kaiju attack being  _ theirs _ for the past handful of days.

Rey was buzzing and for once, she wasn’t scared.

She had to walk quickly to keep in step with Ben, but they made it to LOCCENT in record time. The Marshal was there, as was Luke Skywalker and the rest of the  _ Falcon _ ’s J-tech team. A few other Rangers were also there, though they weren’t on duty.

“What is it?” Ben asked.

“Category four, a big one,” Luke replied. It was one of the first of its size. “It’s heading North.”

“North?” Rey frowned.

“Yeah. Weird right?” Luke turned to where a multi-colored projection over the control panel followed the shape of the Kaiju underwater. “I think it’s heading to a glacier.”

Kaiju usually attacked populated areas, which is why so many cities around the Pacific coast were destroyed. Going to empty space was strange--and troubling.

“If they take down a glacier, it could have drastic effects,” Luke continued. “With Mother Nature, I mean.”

Beside Rey, Ben clenched his jaw. She had the sudden urge to reach out and touch his hand but she didn’t, instead clasping hers in front of her.

“Okay. We’ll keep a close eye on it, but  _ Millenium Falcon _ , you’re up. If you run into trouble, we’ll send in backup,” the Marshal said. She gave them a small, motherly smile before turning back to the screens.

That was their cue.

Rey followed Ben’s lead, racing across the station, getting into drive suits and then into the Conn-Pod.

“You ready?” Ben asked as he hooked his boots into the base.

Rey flashed him a smile. “Yes.”

They weren’t even bridged yet and he could feel her excitement. “Good.”

The head of the Jaeger dropped and linked with the rest of the body. Without pause, Luke’s voice filled the cabin. “All right you two, setting up the drift sequence now.”

“Remember, keep it smooth and steady,” Kanan’s voice piped in.

Now that she knew what to expect, Rey embraced the flash of memories that flooded her mind. They washed over her and then she was jolted back to the present.

“Right hemisphere engaged,” Rey said, automatically going through the process. A moment later, Ben entered in with the left side. The  _ Falcon _ swayed as it began to be rolled out of the hangar.

“Don’t worry,” Ben said without her having to say  _ anything _ . “Hera will take good care of us.”

“How far out is it?” Rey asked, turning to the specs on the HUD screen in front of them. Luke had the information sent over and they watched the Kaiju moving steadily. “Will we get there in time?”

Ben nodded, clenching his right hand. Rey did too. The Jaeger followed like a giant puppet. “We’ll be fine.”

He was right. The Jumphawks hooked them up and flew the huge robots fast. Rey felt the cold deepen as they moved farther north.

“We’ll warm up soon,” Ben said, once again answering her before she could voice her thoughts.

Rey didn’t find it unnerving like she once thought she might. It was comforting to not have to put things into words. She wasn’t that great at it. “I’m in it for the fight,” she said as the target got closer. “Better make it a good one.”

“There’s no such thing as a good fight,” Luke’s voice chimed in.

Rey scoffed.

“Says the man who orchestrates an army of robots,” Ben chuckled.

Luke’s laughter filtered through and then they dropped. The Jaeger caught balance on the thick ice sheet and inside the Conn-Pod, Rey and Ben swayed. Everything was quiet, which made Rey’s anxiety spike.

The screen flickered and Ben blinked and winced.

“Strong and steady, Johnson,” Kanan’s voice sounded far away.

“Don’t you dare slip away from me,” Ben growled. “Not now.”

Rey sucked in a breath and focused her breathing. She hit a few buttons on the control panel and waited, the sound of their breath in and out, in and out, filling the Conn-Pod.

The scans showed the Kaiju, dubbed Bonesquid from the fluid way it was moving through the water. All Kaiju moved effortlessly through the ocean, but some of them, with animal influences of underwater creatures, had a particularly good chance of moving quickest beneath the surface.

“Is there usually this much waiting?” Rey asked after a solid five minutes.

“Every Kaiju is different,” Ben said and Rey was privy to the memories of the Kaiju he and Han had taken down in the eight years they had together. Just flashes, but she found it reassuring. She may be a newbie, but at least Ben had kills under his belt that weren’t just simulation.

They walked, paced more like, over the thick ice. It was surprisingly sturdy enough to hold the weight of the Jaeger and not crack and break underfoot.

That is, until Bonesquid showed up.

oOo

It burst out of the thinner ice, half a mile away. Through their scans, Ben and Rey could see it perfectly and, in tandem, started running toward the creature.

Their objective was simple: defend the glacier, kill the Kaiju. It was no different than defending a city.

As the scans got a better look at the Kaiju, even Ben had to take a moment to grimace. It had a small head, topped with a huge crown of bone, perfect for crushing through ice. Its mouth was beaked like a squid, enormous and ringed with teeth. Its body was thin as well, with three-fingered clawed hands scrabbling to pull its significant weight onto the ice. Its back legs were shaped similarly to a dog’s, with backward knees and thick haunches and scales instead of fur. In lieu of a tail: tentacles. Six flailing tentacles armed with bone spikes along the length. They twisted and flailed, grasping.

“Shit,” Rey hissed out.

Ben agreed.

Jaegers weren’t very good at turning and running, but they had to get away from the thinner ice. Bonesquid followed, screaming out a piercing roar that could be heard and felt through the Jaeger, through their helmets.

Ben winced but kept the motion up until they’d gotten far enough to skid to a halt and turn around. Unlike some of the newer models with fancy “waists” that could turn 360 degrees, the  _ Falcon _ had to be turned fully on its own.

“Ready the torpedoes,” Ben said as he and Rey reached forward to flick switches and do just that. Two shoulder cannons rose up and the power to their ignition built.

“Not quick enough,” Rey said with a slight panic in her voice.

“Wait for it,” Ben told her, some of his calmness seeping into her.

The Kaiju clawed its way closer and, just when it was one hundred feet away, the cannon icon beeped and Ben slammed his hand down. The Jaeger rocked as the torpedoes flew and hit their mark, slamming into the thick Kaiju skin and halting its rampage for a few minutes.

Precious minutes.

The  _ Falcon _ ’s right hand transformed into a huge, whirling blade and they attacked, slicing one of the tails clean off halfway down its wriggling mass. There was no time for celebration as Bonesquid shook its massive head and charged, hitting the Jaeger. Ben and Rey grit their teeth against the impact.

Ben felt the awareness that Rey suddenly had of the  _ power _ of the machine they were wielding. Her excitement turned to determination and confidence. He couldn’t help but grin and shove the Kaiju back, catching another of its tentacle tails with the bladed hand. It bounced off the bone spine and whipped around, striking the Jaeger’s vulnerable Conn-Pod with a quick swipe.

Luckily the glass of the “eyes” held and the pilots were safe. The Kaiju roared and came after them again. Without saying a word, they knew they’d stay still and dodge at the last minute, trying to take out a tail or land a strike at the thin torso.

Rey’s first fight had finally come and this was just beginning.

oOo

Fourteen hours.

She didn’t know how such a length of time could feel so long and so short at the same time. It was a conundrum, a bizarre, uncanny thing.

The Kaiju was finally dead and in pieces. The glacier and ice shelf were mostly intact. Rey’s head swam and floated. She had never felt so equally exhausted and awake at the same time.

And Ben...he was there,  _ right there _ , in her head with her, next to her in the motion rig. She felt him and heard him and he was…

“We’re taking you home, Rangers,” Luke Skywalker’s voice cut through the static in her ears.

The Jaeger wasn’t unharmed, but it was in better shape than its last field mission. It had both arms still.

Ben laughed at that thought and Rey grinned, settling back into the harness as they were lifted. The ride to the Shatterdome was gone in a blink and then…

They walked out and were surrounded by people. Their own J-tech crew, who had to be exhausted. Other teams, other workers, other crews…

It was a lot and it was over as quickly as it started. They got out of their drivesuits and onto wobbly legs. They took showers and had a short debriefing with The Marshal before they were dismissed back to their bunk.

_ Their bunk _ .

Because it was theirs now, given to them...yesterday? She couldn’t really place time properly in her head. She reached to press her fingertips to her temple and wasn’t at all surprised to find Ben mirroring her.

There was something incredible about sharing a mind with another person--and a machine--and there weren’t even words to describe it. Even though they were no longer connected they still... _ were _ …

Ben walked ahead and pulled the door open. There weren’t too many people roaming around the barracks corridors and no one to stop them. Once inside, Rey released a breath. This was her space,  _ their _ space, a weird mixture of the few things she owned--a few unique tools and a vase filled with dried flowers--and the many he did--the golden dice, the photographs, the small metal airplane.

He grew up so unlike her, loved and cherished by his family, but she didn’t hate him for it, for having something she didn’t. Because her life made her who she was. And she was--

Who was she?

Right now, she wasn’t so sure. She stood in the middle of the room, not hearing the words coming out of Ben’s mouth. She lifted her fingertips to her lips to see if the muffled sounds she was hearing were coming from her.

It was starting to get hard to tell the difference.

Suddenly, like an overwhelming cold seeping from her heart through her limbs, she felt the absence of him and that wouldn’t stand. She wouldn’t let it.

Turning around, he was right there, and her hands found their place on the panes of his chest and up toward his neck. She blinked and he was leaning and she was rising and they were kissing.

They slotted together, arms and hands and tongue and lips. She felt a little better, warming from the outside in. Why hadn’t they done this before?

She moaned as his hands cupped her ass and pulled her hips flush against his. Her eyelids fluttered open in time to see his darken with desire and to hear his mouth lay claim to her in words and in actions.

She lost herself.

_ Ben _ and  _ Rey _ slipped from their mouths and it didn't matter who said which name because they were one in the same. Words slipped out, sighs of contentment and moans of pleasure as hands roamed, tugging at clothes, and lips pressed hot, flushed skin.

It didn't matter that they were exhausted and Ben's bones ached and old wounds burned. He should have stopped it. They weren't in their right minds but this was months of pent up frustration and interest, simmering attraction and the Drift's incessant pull. He couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to.

Everything was her and him and  _ they _ and soon clothes were piled on the floor. Even this being  _ their _ bunk made it confusing as to who was who. Was he feeling her hands in his hair, or his in hers? Did it matter?

Hands dug into shoulders and his hand felt between her legs, sliding through the slick and pulling a moan from her throat. It stoked a need in Ben he hadn’t suppressed but hadn’t let loose in a very long time. With one motion, he lifted her and her legs wrapped around his waist.

She kissed him like his lips were the very air she needed to breath, grumbling with displeasure when he set her down on the bed, his hard cock bumping against her hot center. He didn’t give her any chance, pushing his fingers into her. Her back arched and her fingernails scratched his back. He kissed her neck and chest and moved just where she needed without needing to exchange a single word.

They had never felt like this before.

His tongue roamed over her chest, finding a pebbled nipple and circling it, teasing just enough for her to gasp out and come, claiming his fingers and wiggling beneath him. He curled his fingers just once, causing her to jump and then his world was a blur.

She settled atop him, blunt nails dragging down his chest, rubbing her wet cunt over his cock, eyelids fluttering. Her hands curled into fists against his skin and she held his gaze. She swooped down, claiming his lips once more and shifting her hips back. His cock's swollen head slid through the slick to her clit and she whimpered. Wasting no time, Ben reached around, sliding his broad fingers through the wetness and grasping his cock with the other. He let go and pushed her down, hands on his hips, closing his eyes and savoring the feeling of her enveloping him. 

She panted and perched up on her hands, sinking slowly. He leaned up and kissed her chest, pulled a breast to his mouth and sucked, fingers massaging the plush curve of her ass. 

"Fu-fuck," she breathed as she bottomed out, taking all of him. His mumbled against her skin and she moved a little, dragging a deep throated groan from him. His hands dug into her back and she pushed him down by the shoulders. He swallowed, throat bobbing as she moved, rolling her hips and not taking her eyes off him.

He watched her face twitch as she bit her lips and moved at a steadier pace. His fingers would probably bruise as he held on.

Rey, filled more than she'd ever been, sometimes sank down to kiss him, sometimes sat high and bounced against him, wanting, needing, everything and more.

"Touch me," she panted, propped up on her knees. He was already moving. Ben's eyes fell to where their bodies met, the girth of his cock sinking into her as she moved. He growled, holding her hip with one hand while the other moved to her lower abdomen. His fingers splayed across her skin, his thumb sweeping over her clit. She jerked and he moaned, gritting his teeth. She kept moving as fast as her legs could bear it. "Please--fuck, Ben I--"

They weren't connected by a machine, but they hardly needed words. "I've got you," he said, rubbing and swirling. He could feel her shake. "You feel--"

"Shit _ fuck _ yes!" Rey cried out, sinking all the way, clenching down on him and shuddering, eyes squeezed shut. Ben pulled her down to him, hand tangled into her hair and shifted his hips so he could thrust up. She whispered and moaned into his mouth as he fucked her, hard and heavy. Their noses bumped and she could hardly keep her lips on him, dipping her head down to kiss and lick his neck. His arm around her was sturdy, holding her in place.

His thrusts slowed and he languished the slow drag of his cock down her tense walls. He pushed her hips back slowly with his hands, rolling them. Rey kissed his jaw and then his mouth, taking his lower lip between her teeth.  _ More _ , her eyes said, blazing into his as she pushed herself up again.

They moved in tandem and Rey almost was able to keep him inside of her, pouting as his heavy cock slid from her cunt. Her ass settled against his pelvis, her back against his chest. He kissed the side of her neck as her hands went down, stroking his slick shaft and lining it up with her entrance.

"Needy, greedy girl," he said against the shell of her ear, taking her hips and helping. They mutually moaned with satisfaction and pleasure as once more they were in and around one another. Ben grabbed her legs, fingers sliding around her thighs and she yelped as he thrust into her cunt again. The angle stretched her and she shivered, nearly coming again just from that.

With an encouraging babble of words and curses, he fucked her hard, like she wanted...the stretch, the fullness, the pure connection was everything and she had it in her grasp. Her hands curled against the bedcovers and then one released, eager fingers moving to rub her clit. It was sensitive still and she huffed, running her fingers down, feeling the hard length of him slip through them for a stroke, two. She gasped and pressed her clit hard, circling and coming again with a choked sound. Ben thrust through it, kissing her shoulder, shuddering with his own climax nearing.

"So good," he said against her hair as she settled, bands of muscles tensing and teasing him. "Fuck, Rey..."

She contorted to kiss him briefly before he was pushing her away, detangling. 

"I want to see your face," he said as her back hit the mattress. 

Her legs parted for him and he fell between them, not even needing any guiding hands, sinking right into her. She shifted her hips and grabbed his shoulders, kissing him. He moved, pulling half out and back in. She moaned and he grabbed her hip, only one arm keeping him up. She dragged her fingers down his throat and he settled back, looking at her flushed and glistening face. With a change in his hips, he pushed inside of her so deep that tears glistened. 

"Are you-"

"Don't stop," she told him, and he didn't. She cried out and clung to him, his pace quickening. He slammed into her time and time again and she took it all with mewls of pleasure and nails digging into his skin. A few shallow thrusts, the tightened walls of her cunt squeezing his swollen, pulsing cock and he fell apart. He shook and thrust, slow and hard, riding out his orgasm until he was spent.

"Ben." Her voice was soft and her hands pushed hair away from his face. He kissed her wrists, her cheeks, her lips, still unable to get enough. He breathed her name against her skin and marveled at her. Just her. 

She stroked his hair and kissed wherever she could, not wanting to lose the moment, the miss this connection, this bond.

They fell asleep wrapped up together, limbs tangled. And woke with frenzied need, once, twice. The bunk was filled with the scent of them, sweat and sex. Rey bit through a pillowcase as he pounded into her from behind, hitting that deep spongy part inside of her that so few had reached. His cock seemed never ending, waking up hard and red and ready. Her lips around him were nothing short of magical and he tasted her with fervor. Her cunt stretched around him with familiarity and they couldn't get enough.

He came a third--or was it fourth?--time, lips brushing the shell of her ear, his pelvis slamming into her ass as her hand was caught between the mattress and her body, fingers working what they could over an overused clit. She came seconds before, and her squeezing and his pulsing left them both crying out and finally collapsing.

The post-Drift haze was wearing off, minds clearing even as they were overwhelmed with climaxing. Ben stayed nestled inside of her for a few minutes before parting. He kissed her shoulder and pulled her close, their bodies equally hot and sticky and sweaty.

Rey kissed his neck and curled against him. 

"Is this real?" Ben asked, taking her hand in his, playing with her fingers.

Rey frowned. Not because she was confused but because it felt like something she was about to ask, words lingering on her tongue. And, in a surprising twist, she answered him and herself quickly, without hesitation: "Yes."

He smiled a little and she curled her fingers around his. He kissed her fingertips and hugged her close.

"Is it...will it...always be like that? Like this?" she asked after a few minutes of silence. 

"No. I mean...most Drifts are only a few hours at most. Fourteen is...not unheard of but it...I read about it fucking with people's heads."

"I didn't mind the fucking." She looked up at him the best she could from her angle. He was smiling. "I've never...I don't let myself get close to people. You're the closest I've ever been..."

She didn't need to finish. He knew. He'd felt it, earlier in the  _ Falcon _ . He squeezed her and kissed whatever he could reach before his stomach growled.

Rey laughed.

"I'm hungry," Ben said. "Are you hungry?"

"Famished."

Ben reluctantly sat up, peeling himself away from her. "C'mon, lets get some food. We both deserve it."

They did. The war would keep going on around them, and they’d just killed a giant sea monster. They deserved a little connection, a little time to find each other and fill their bellies with unfortunately rationed food.

Rey didn’t even mind the food or think about the negatives. Right now, her world had grown a little bit bigger, and all she cared about was the heat from Ben’s arm pressed against her shoulder as they walked toward the mess hall.

_ I don’t like most people but I like you _ , she thought, because it was true. People were liars and assholes and they did nothing but hurt you and laugh and then walk away. But Ben?

Ben glanced down at her and gave her a crooked smile that said  _ I know _ .

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This fic will be updated weekly on Tuesday or Wednesday depending on my work schedule. 
> 
> Follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/hunkbuster)!


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